It is 11:45pm on June 4th. Four days past the day that I should have been jumping head first into the solidarity pool, yet delinquently am dipping my toe into the luke warm water late into the night. Is it possible for a mother to justify her tardiness with a "better late than never" mantra?
Many months ago Electra asked me to begin wearing a pump set with the argument that if she had to wear one, so should I. So we made the agreement that on the first of every month I would insert an infusion set into my middle aged tummy in solidarity to my beautiful daughter. I admit to being a bit of a wimp the first time around. Insert set on day one, no problem. How easy is this? Day 2... not quite so easy. Did I hit a nerve? This freakin' hurts! Yoga? No, master sir. We are definitely not doing cobra today given that I can not even lie on my stomach without feeling like there is a sharp object sticking straight into an abdominal nerve. Okay, this solidarity thing is working. I get it, yet realize that I will never fully get it as I don't know what it's like to know that you have to wear this thing every day. For the rest of your life.
So tonight, as I quietly tip-toed into my daughter's room to get a late night glucose reading, as I poked her amazingly beautiful and graceful hands to gently squeeze a sample of blood from her fingertip, I looked at her with awe. In all her quietness and modesty there is a strength that stops me in my tracks. Enough to make me pause and realize that I was not doing my part. Infusion set first. A few changes to be made here and there next. Little by little we are finding our way through this life of diabetes. Fortunately we have an incredible doctor at the helm and a desire to do not only the best that we can for our T1 girl, but our family as a whole.
"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."
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